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|About||NYC's most fashionable year round waystation for drunk hippos, rhinos, lions, leopards, vipers, black panthers, pumas, stingrays, hyenas, and zookeepers.|
There are too many qualities about The Whitewater Zoo to praise, but here's an all too short list of some of them:
*A comfortable atmosphere, with the thermostat often set to 77 and almost daily thermostat checks done by the friendliest of staff.
*To date, the number of entrants on the Wall of Shame remains almost inconceivably low. The animals respect the Zoo and/or can tolerate disgusting amounts of alcohol well enough to keep it relatively clean.
*The Zoo has a view of the Empire State Building, and if you've spent a lot of time in the Zoo, chances are you'll see two or three Empire State Buildings when you look out the window.
*It's almost impossible to get lost because the Zoo is conspicuously visible from the Empire State Building, Top of the Rock, Staten Island Ferry, World Trade Center, Brooklyn Bridge, High Line, and probably every other important landmark in Manhattan. Just be careful trying to navigate from Lansdowne Road and On The Rocks because the Zoo has a nasty habit of vanishing when you hang out on 10th Ave.
*You can drink Jameson at the Zoo, play Jenga at the Zoo, or do both at the same time if you suck at either.
*The Zoo's lack of art is artistic in its own right as the possibilities literally remain endless.
*The Zoo has a no mounting before 10 a.m. policy, but no rules after.